I am sitting here at my Chemo treatment feeling very discouraged. When I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Cancer in June I had it in my mind that I was going to live. There was no other choices. I thought I lived in Canada I was lucky. Free health care system and all. I had no extra benefits. We tried but they were expensive and who could have ever guessed at my age I would need meds that would cost in the $22700 dollar range. Ya that is not a typo. When they put me on palliative blue cross I was hit with a bunch of restrictions to my health care costs. I didn’t understand it. Wasn’t the point of me dying, that the health care system wanted to fix me? Apparently not.
When I recieved my letter from Blue Cross I was confused. Why would it say I fit the bill from having a condition called neutropenia and then say I was denied because I was palliative?This basically means that the Chemo puts me in the hospital from having low to no white blood count. The Neulasta was requested by my Oncologist who would not have requested it if he didn’t believe it would help. Everyone I have talked to with my specialized TNBC (triple negative breast cancer) informed me that they were on the Neulasta shot. I was confused. The only difference is I am stage 4 and marked for death. Once I came in as stage 4 they put me in a pretty little box of low chance of survival. The thing is. I am not a statistic. I have never been. I don’t fit in a box. So why would you not give me a drug that would help me with my treatments? The simple answer is because I would be wasting a bunch of money on someone marked for death. I was floored. From the beginning I was confused why my doctor was saying things like l have a needle that is $3000 that could help you but it’s not even worth writing it out because nobody can afford it and nobody will cover it for you. I wondered what made me different?
Lately there has been a breakthrough in my disease. A possibility of me healing or at least prolonging my life into long-term remission. The issue is this is a $20000 drug. How can I expect anyone to cover the drug that can heal me when they won’t even give me the drug that can help me feel better through treatments? I am feeling lost and I need help. How do I fight a system to live along with a disease that is trying to kill me?
How many people have died from this disease because despite having the will to live could not get access to the treatments because the government programs have you boxed into a coffin before you are even ready to go? I am not ready to die and my newest oncologist agrees. I have went from not being able to breathe to walking two full lengths of the local mall. I am down by over half of the cancer lesions I began with and I am showing shrinkage in both of the areas that are left. If I was anywhere else they would be treating me as a healing possibility. Do you have any idea how hard it is to manage your Chemo symptoms, fight a deadly disease and do it against a system that is trying to make it difficult for you?
I have been sick for years. I have been to every specialist I could think of. The other day I had an eye doctor inform me that I would have had to have this Cancer for a while for it to reach my eye socket? But how could that be? I was in the hospital a few times and to my doctor as well as walk ins reiterating my symptoms and not getting any results or further testing done. The fevers I had a year before pointed to cancer. I even saw an on call oncologist while I was in the hospital who sent me home without further testing. Why was I not given a CT then? Is this really a system that regards money over patients? If they had found the cancer a year ago then I would have been a lesser stage and they would have placed me on Neulasta right away. I would probably be in remission now. But probably not because they wouldn’t put me on a medical plan with a preexisting condition. Damned if I do damned if I don’t. How can we say this is a free medical system when according to the woman in the states if I was paying for medical insurance there I would be paying less and getting way more. I would already be on the immunotherapy and the Neulasta. I would probably be in remission by now and they would have figured out my cancer at least a year ago because they would have done an MRI.
I am feeling so frustrated and I am not sure who I can turn to. I want to live. I am willing to do what ever I can to do that. How do I live?