The first day I was at the farmers market, I was completely elated. I had always wanted to have a booth selling stuff at the market with my family. It was a dream come true for me. I was happy and really nobody could stop it.
Just then this guy comes over and starts playing his music beside us. I am noise sensitive. The playing of music sometimes makes my head hurt, along with other mild sensitivities, like hearing grass grow, or smelling every thing from yesterday’s pea soup you ate on the jacket you didn’t change that night, or the feeling like my brain will explode kind of puts a damper in your day. However, when I am in the right headspace it is like my brain gets cuddled by a buffer system. It is glorious and allows me to be able to do things, I probably would not be able to do without the acceptance of Love.
Now, you think everyone would love this. Positive Brandie, always looking on the bright side, as best she can. It is not like I can’t see your suffering but I can also detach from it. Just like I can detach from my guilt or dread. Some people think it is the meds. Some think it’s brain damage. Either way, it allows me to do and see things other people don’t see.
I started to have compassion for them as well. “Forgive them Lord , they know not what they do.” Jesus. I can see this. Hurting people hurt people.
What I did not expect was the random outbursts of Anger from sometimes complete strangers. We have had people come to us and yell at our use of the word awesome on pink. I have had people I know say shut off the positive bull crab and just agree with me. I have had people without Cancer inform me that the way I was acting was disrespectful to the dying. You really cannot win in this world sometimes.
I did not wake up one morning and decide I was going to love the world. I had a long withstanding Judge, and mallet ready to tell anyone I knew I was right and you were wrong.
The thing is, nobody is really right or wrong. We are all coming in from perspectives. If you are mad at me, for my truth, than I am sorry that you feel that way . You are not my responsibility. If you are mad at my actions than I am sorry you feel that way. Even if you are mad at my pink sign with the name awesome on it. I am sorry you feel that way. Because I am not about to internalize your problems as my own. I am going to live my truth, make my mistakes count for me and be a better person tomorrow than I am today. Oh ya and blow butterflies out of my unicorn kissed, candy poop dispenser bottom. Lmao 😂 Why? Because I love myself. I love what I believe and who I am becoming each day. I hope you love yourself just as much. But if not I will love you just the way you are. God Bless.
Ps: I also have grammar errors and spell check issues. I love myself all the same and you for pointing them out ,so I can be a better communicator. 🦄 People are so cool.