It has been a weird week! I recieved a bunch of news that would be considered terrible to most, but I am a believer in something bigger than myself, so I am grateful for my faith. We were given notice that I was removed from AISH ( Assured Income for the Severely Handicapped ) for a clerical misunderstanding. They informed us that we probably wouldn’t have been accepted from the beginning of they had they figured it out in the beginning. Because of this, I was not only taken off of subsistence, but I was also handed a $10400.00 bill and we lost our family health coverage. As you all may know, due to my side effects of the cancer meds, I am still not able to run a household. Also our only money comes from donations, some fund raising done with the help of my wonderful neighbors and some sales of t shirts and paintings. Due to the AISH shutting us down we were also informed that my stair rail lift was also declined from another agency and I also lost my CPAP machine that was helping me sleep. Therefore, I can no longer look forward to taking regular baths or showers, when my neuropathy makes me sort of paralysed on my feet and hands, and sleeping will again be a challenge. I get to do sponge baths unless I get help up the stairs by someone. The stairs on a good day are quite difficult for me. Due to all of this Ken had to go back to work. We are literally down to the last of our money and all of our credit cards are almost maxed. We owe money to what seems like everyone. It seems so very hopeless.
I also received a phone call today that informed me I was taken off of the trial list for an immunotherapy drug. Apparently I don’t have the genes they are looking for called BRCA1 and BRCA2. This is good news for one reason. It means I may not have a genetic component that would have passed to my children. However, it also means I am back to a life of Chemo until Canada passes the immunotherapy here for my Cancer. It is used for some treatments but not my class of Cancer. Which was the reason why we started the markets to begin with. So I could possibly pay the $17000.00 a month for the treatment. I guess that never really in the cards. We were unable to make $1000 a month let alone $17000.
My husband has been angry over this. I understand his emotions. Canada may be a free health care system but it doesn’t account for all of the extra strains it cost people that many people wouldn’t even think of. I am not angry. I was sad for a moment and overwhelmed with it all coming at once, but I realized that this is just one more chance to believe.
I believe that God will give us the people we need to help me run the house without ruining myself. I believe that the money will sort itself out somehow. I believe that I will be able to get up the stairs by myself eventually. Already I found a couple of knee braces that help me do the stairs a little easier and my neuropathy has been mild lately. I believe that people will pick me up if I fall and call 911 if necessary. I believe my kids will step up and help out more. I believe that I will get strong enough that I will forget that the Cancer exists. I believe if God wants me to take the medicine to heal me than the money will show up or the cure will somehow.
I think this may be a great opportunity to allow others to give to me. I know that sounds selfish, but I get great Joy from giving, I would not want to take that opportunity away from others. I guess what I am saying is these hardships may be the push my family and I need to change. Our house has become deep in depression lately because I have had to sleep a lot. They are not used to seeing me like this. I am becoming worse at hiding my pain. I know I shouldn’t do that but I hate seeing my family worried and sad. So I have become accustomed to not expressing how sick or in pain I really feel. However, the med withdrawals have made it impossible not to see what is going on with me because I am not eating, I am crying, and I am throwing up. You can’t hide those things easily. I know I am getting better though, because I can eat a little more each day. That is why no matter how scared Ken is about leaving me alone sick, he has the hope that I am getting better.
I heard the other day, if you are breathing than you have a purpose on this Earth. I hope that also means that if I live my purpose than everything else will be taken care of. So I will find my happy place. I will keep waking up and I will live my purpose, what ever that might be. I am still not entirely sure about that yet. There is no reason to hold on to any anger over things I have zero control over. I will continue to have faith and believe. God Bless ❤️ Everyone. I wish you all great Health, Wealth and Prosperity.
PS: This is my Go fund me page. Any support that is given is much appreciated and goes towards helping my family survive and fight for a cure that is not yet available to me in Canada. My goal is to live and this medicine is the only known treatment that puts woman with Triple Negative Breast Cancer into remission. Thanks again for all of your support and Prayers
PS2:To help my family make money we sell a health product that I support because it helps me have coffee again without being sick. This Healing coffee is akaline and has nutrients in it. I also use some of the detox stuff to help with the Chemo. If you are interested in helping and enjoying a healthy coffee please check out our company website. Thanks so much for your support and God Bless ❤️😊