So now the question is when will I die? The issue that comes with a terminal illness is it is a great big boot in the bum to live. How crappy it is that you get the chance to live like you were dying and someone tries to cut that short. I don’t want it to be short. I need more time. I just discovered love. I always thought I knew love before but I didn’t. Love came to me in a package of a puppy named Dixie. Dixie is deaf and licks my brain. Every morning I wake up to a puppy jumping on me and licking my face. She licks my nose and sometimes when she licks, her tongue goes up my nose. Gross yes, but I love it, because I love her. She doesn’t know she is gross, she just loves me so much that she must take the first layer of skin off of my face for a memento each day. Why is it important for you to know this? Here is why. Before all of this I was riddled with control issues. Dogs do not lick. Especially not the face. I have Cancer and I am on Chemo. Do you know where that tongue has been? But I love her. I have progressively gotten so much better at love that I suprise myself. The thing is Love does not give a rats butt where the tongue has been. Just so long as it is attached to the life that is Dixie.
Did I mention that Dixie is deaf? That is quite a challenge trying to teach a dog that is deaf. She doesn’t seem to listen to my demands. (Pause for bad joke laughter here😉). At around the same time as we got Dixie we got Cheechy Bear.
Cheechy Bear was born with a congenital disease called retinal degeneration. She was born with sight but in the last few weeks have lost all of her sight completely. I love Cheechy Bear the same as I love Dixie. She also licks my nose and I swear touches my brain sometimes. These dogs are special to me and despite being very difficult to train, they give me so much more back than I could probably ever give to them. They make me laugh 😂. They play with a cat toy and I have them chasing me around the house. They give me a reason to go outside for a walk. I have to learn patients with them because one can’t see me and the other can’t hear me. They are teaching me so many things. They are giving me exercise and they are giving me a reason to get up and go. They are giving me life and they are teaching me about love.
When I first had children I was a devoted mother. I learned how to communicate with my kids as early as I could. I taught them signs so they could speak to me sooner. I had a goal to have the happiest kids alive. Then when they grew a little older I started putting conditions on my kids. They had to do what I wished or else I would get upset and punish them. I did the same with my husband. I went from unconditional love to placing conditions on them. You never think of it at the moment,but when we are angry at our children or spouses we are temporarily withholding our love.
It says in the Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV “ Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.8 Love never fails.
This passage was read at my wedding because I wanted to love and be loved like that. I fail often, but I believe as long as it is important to you and you keep getting back up on the horse, you will eventually reach your goal. I guess that is why God gave us Dog’s, because they never fail at love and we needed a good role model. Thanks for listening and if you get a chance, pet a puppy today. They give us so much more than we could ever give. Many Blessings 🙏 you all.