I love my children. Biological, honourary and furbaby.

I love my kids. When I say I love my kids I don’t say it lightly and I don’t just mean the three that came out of my body. I mean my fur babies that overrun my house like a zoo.

I mean my kids friends that have been with us for so long they probably can’t even remember the first days they came to our house. I am and probably always have been a fierce Mom. I have knocked on a complete strangers house at 1 am in the morning to make sure that my son’s friend was present and accounted for. I have told off a woman who yelled at my son’s friend for no good reason because she was a bully and she had no business making an innocent kid cry. I have transformed the room of my daughter’s best friend because she dreamed to have her princess bedroom and I had the capabilities to do it. I do these things because I genuinely love these kids.

One of the most endearing moments for me was when I had been gifted some watermelon candy once. I put the candy on the counter top in the bag it came in when I was done. Another belief I have is mi Casa sous Casa (my house is your house). So when my daughter’s boyfriend came in and took a handful of candy from the watermelon bag, I felt so successful. Only someone who lived in my house, or was so comfortable that they felt free of repercussions, would take candy from a bag laying on the cupboard. It was obvious to me that this boy felt completely comfortable in my home. I have always wanted that kind of home. A place where people felt safe to be themselves and completely taken care of. I feel like kids and animals should feel truly loved. Everyone should feel loved , of course, but the more innocence the more they should be taken care of.

That leads me to my kids. I love my kids more than anything in the world. They are truly the reason why I am still alive today. When the doctor said I would probably die the first night over the blood clots in my lungs, all I could think about was my kids being without me for the rest of their lives. I couldn’t do that. When my son, Cole, broke his ankle, I was going through a temporary seperation with my husband.ย  I still stayed a week in the hospital on a pull out chair so that he would not have to suffer alone. I got a babysitter for my son so my middle daughter, Emily, could do dance with me. I wanted her to always feel included so she would not have any middle child issues.๐Ÿ˜‚(I t didn’t work btw) I was a crazy Mother. When my baby girl, Danielle, was born, I spent a week in the hospital almost dying from a hemorrhage. I refused to die and have my baby live without a mother. I would literally do anything for my kids. So when my son gave me this amazing Christmas gift I was so filled with confused emotions I didn’t know what to do.

My son, Cole, started acting different towards me when he turned about 15. Before that we were friends. We had dates, we went to yoga together, and he would show me all of his new skateboarding moves. He talked to me and I thought he liked to do that. He always acted like he enjoyed my company and I loved him to the moon and back.๐Ÿ˜„ When he hit teenage hood I couldn’t relate to him. I wanted to so badly. I yearned for the days that I could sit and chat like we used to, but it seemed like we were strangers. He said things that made me feel like he may have known me or possibly longed for the same relationship, but there was just somethings I did that made him angry when we talked. He always assures me that he loves me but he does things that make me realize he is exasperated by me. Its weird. How can you love someone so much and still not seem to be able to get along? This Christmas Cole got us an amazing gift. Every year for almost ten years, we would go to Canmore and rent a time share condo. This year, due to Ken having to stay home and take care of me,made it impossible for us to financially rent the room.

Cole moved out a year agoย  and has been doing really well on his own. Ken and I have been so proud of his progress with work and his side business of snowboard waxing. He is a man now and doing really well for himself. I didn’t know how well but when he offered us that mini vacation I was stunned. Cole was never big on gifts and this was a big gift. Then finding out that he thought of it himself made me feel like maybe I didn’t do too bad as Mom. Maybe he did have some good memories of us when he was younger. You see, I have been afraid that all he remembers is the illness. I sometimes doubt if I did right by my kids. There is no manual for this parenting thing and I am sure I screwed up more than once. I just wanted them to feel happy and loved. When he gave me that gift I thought maybe he did feel that way. 0 I just want so much to have the time so that I can have a beautiful close relationship with all of my children. Even the honourary ones. The cancer scares me sometimes for this reason. It is hard having time hang over your head like an invisible ticking time bomb. Someday, I believe, that I will have our Christmas time in Canmore and I will have all of my children with me. Their families will be there too. I see us all going tubing or who knows, maybe I will try snowboarding. I can ski just enough to be dangerous.๐Ÿ˜‰

Even though this was the first year without Cole in Canmore, we had such a marvelous time. We laughed and played games. We shopped and had amazing homeade fondues. We had our honourary kid Destiny with us. It was just a wonderful way to spend time with the ones we love. My son, my sister and my Mom took care of our fur babies for us. It was just so wonderful and I am just so grateful for it.

My next favorite thing came when my fur children came home so full of love. My cat was so bad when we were gone. She managed to rip open a whole bag of treats that my Mom and Step Dad got her. Between her and the other two cats they had a cat treat feast. The whole house now smells of really rancid gas. I am glad there are no smokers in the house. One lighter spark and I am sure we will go up like a firework. The cats also decided to tear open the Skinny pigs food and leave trails through out the upstairs. My sister informed me that the new puppy, Dixie, has a new game of swing the tail of the Cheetzy Bear. My poor little Grand Doggy is going to be tailless soon if we don’t curb that behavior. It looks like I have some teaching to do. Which I am grateful for as well. Puppies keep you young. So basically I had the best trip with the best people. I was gifted that trip from the best Son. I had spending money from the best most generous people for Christmas and I am forever grateful to everyone. May you all be as blessed as I have been. Thanks for listening and have the most amazing New Year and New decade. Great things are coming and as my daughter keeps telling me” this is the first year that people who have prescription glasses can say they see 2020โ€. ๐Ÿ˜‚Lol God Blessโค๏ธ

A little faith goes a long way.

Today has been a huge faith day. It started out with worry, unfortunately. I had a plan this year. I wasn’t able to get a lot of gifts for the family for Christmas, but I was able to get them each one good gift and honestly my family has everything they need. That was something that I figured out when I got the brain cancer. Things don’t give you happiness, experiences do. Good Times with your friends and family mean something. Great food and good stories mean something. Learning new things mean something. Puppy kisses and kitten cuddling means something. It doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate gifts when given. In fact, I appreciate them so much more now, because I generally don’t get things unless I love them or need them. I see the thought and love placed in giving and it means something more now than it used to.  However today I was looking down the barrel of a very Faith based decision. I had my last bit of money in the bank. I had a food order coming in ,thanks so much to the Mormon Church, so I decided that I would buy the last gift I was going to buy so that I had something for my Son. He always tells us adamantly to not get him anything, because in his words, we need it more than him, but I was not leaving him without a gift for Christmas. God has never left us before so I was faithful that God would provide. I took a hundred dollars and got him a gift then I went home and played a make believe game with my daughter called “If I were Ellen and I could give away any gift to anyone for Christmas what would I give?” Danielle and I had fun picturing the looks on the faces of my family when I drove up in my daughter’s fully paid for purple jeep. The look on my son’s face if I sent him snowboarding for a week in Sunshine etc. It is fun to dream and giving away stuff would be so much fun. I envy Ellen for her ability to make people’s dreams come true.

However, I digress. At around 3pm we got a knock on our door. It was Emily’s school counselor. She had some gifts for my girls. It was beautiful. So far this week we had already been surprised by the Kentwood community association that gave us a basket with gift certificates, food and money. We were also surprised and gifted by my friend doing yoga to raise money for us. This had again gave us some money and gift certificates from virtual strangers, that we were so grateful for and very much in need of. What else could I ask for? Then the door bell rang again a few hours later. It was my neighbors from across the street. I was surprised at their visit, so I probably sounded ridiculous from shock, but they gifted me with a turkey , ham and another donation of cash. Now I was dumbfounded. I barely know my neighbors, why would they be so generous to me? God is good and people who give from his promptings are just so wonderful. I was very moved. Then I had huge surprise about an hour later. I was greeted gleefully by my daughter’s old teacher and about ten others baring gifts at my front door for the third time today. They not only gave me a donation that would help us pay the bills that month but they also gifted us with family portraits and more presents they said that they hoped our family would enjoy. They even sang Rudolph the Red nose reindeer to me while I cried from the overwhelming beauty of the moment. I am just so moved right now it is beyond words.

I was telling my new neighbors today something that was told to me a long time ago. My new neighbor Nancy had asked me for a favor. She said she was not used to asking for help and I told her the hands story I heard in church one time. The story goes that a man had greeted St Peter in the gates of heaven and he was taken to a room full of the most amazing treats anyone could possibly imagine.Also in the room were many people in anguish and sadness. The man asks St Peter where this place was and St Peter said “well that depends on your perspective but I would have to say what you see right now would probably be considered hell.” The man was confused but what he noticed when he looked around was that the people around the table were incapable of using their arms properly. They could reach out but couldn’t bend the arm to reach and feed themselves any of this wonderful food. They were unable to listen to the beautiful music because without bending their arms they couldn’t put the earphones in. It was maddening and each person who tried would fail and get more hopeless and frustrated. St Peter said we are moving along son and the man was relieved . As they walked along the corridor St Peter opened the next door to what looked like the identical scene. Everything wonderful was laid out in a buffet before him and St Peter said welcome to Heaven. The Man was now confused. How could this be heaven? It was exactly the same. The man’s curiosity got the better of him and finally he asked St Peter what gives? St Peter explained that nothing is different in heaven. Everyone has the same arms that won’t allow them to enjoy the good things on the table. St Peter tells the man” the only difference that makes this heaven is that in heaven we feed each other.” Sure enough as the man watched he could see each person using the their special arms to reach out and give to the other people.

My neighbor loved this story but I think what hit home and it has gotten my heart everytime was a question a woman asked me once. She said “Brandie I noticed that you give a lot. Do you love giving?” I said absolutely it is one of my favorite things. It gives me a feeling of love and grace when I do it. The lady then said “do you like receiving as much?”. I said no it makes me feel needy and humbled. Then the lady said ” what if everyone felt that way? What if nobody recieved or asked for help, who would we give to?”. She was right. There was no reason to feel bad about receiving because there are so many people out there that feel so blessed from giving that it is our place to appreciate both. Ever since that conversation I have learned to just give back in gratitude and pay it forward when I can. So when I have, I give, and when I don’t I receive. Graciously knowing that I am part of something bigger and better than my mind could ever truly understand. So tonight I pray for those in need. I ask that the proper amazing heavenly souls find them and they allow those people to give to them. I pray thanks to all the people who have made my children and I smile with their generosity. Thank you so much. It means more to my family than you could ever know. A true miracle to have you give to me with your golden hearts when we absolutely needed it the most. Thank you a hundred times over. My daughter came home from work, afraid because she had lost her nose ring at work and she was unable to afford a new one. When I told her we could help her out she was in tears with relief. This morning I was not sure where gas was coming from this week and tonight I slept knowing we were taken care of. How could I ever question if there was a higher power or not when I am so blessed with miracles like tonight? My cup runneth over ๐Ÿ˜Šโค๏ธ . If I don’t write another blog before the 25th than I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and an enlightened, and prosperous New Year. I love you all so much. God Bless โค๏ธ

Holy Yoga

Yesterday evening I tried my first Holy Yoga. A friend, and a genuinely beautiful person named Marri, asked me if she could do the yoga special as a fundraiser for my family. I am still bona fide overwhelmed by the kind hearts that exist and how God chooses to use them. I am very grateful and blessed. Marri invited me and my daughter to join her and I have to admit I was happy but a little apprehensive. I love yoga but I am still physically unable to do some yoga positions and some faster yoga sets. I wanted to try it though so after having Marri assure me that there would be no acrobatics I was on my way with my big green yoga mat.

Now I am going to tell you a secret about myself that is a little bit of my vulnerability sticking out, so please be kind. Since I had been laying in bed for essentially a year, my sphincter muscles may not be a strong as they used to be. I lost a little bit of my keagle strength as well. So for years I wouldn’t go to any active moving yoga because of these issues. Active means less concentration on clinching. I started attempting to reastablish yoga back in my life by doing it in my house. Now if you haven’t figured out where I am going with this I will quit the suspense right now and come right out with it. Whenย  I do yoga I fart. I try not too but I really have less control over this bodily function than I did when I was younger. However, butt up in the sky squeezing your abs tight is just a rocket ship waiting to happen.

Once in my bedroom, my daughter and I were doing yoga with candles on and I swear to you I blew air so hard out of my bottom area that it put the candles out two feet away. To make my condition a little more sexy, I have pushing incontinence from having babies. So if I sneeze or bare down in any way I pee. When I was coughing with the lung clots, I got so tired of changing pads that I started wearing depends diapers. So you can see why I may be a little apprehensive about going out into public and attempting something that may guarantee me humiliation? Well having a life and friends are worth it, so I took the leap. And to answer your question yes I may have had a few squeezers in holding my knees to my chest but it didn’t take anyone out and we didn’t have to evacuate the building. I must be getting stronger muscles. ๐Ÿ˜ Sorry to anyone who had to sit beside me.

We started the yoga nice and easy. I was happy about that. Not only was I not ready for vigorous anything but I was really enjoying the music. I found the Christian music refreshing and the Bible quotes nice markers to keep the mind grounded. It was very refreshing to have yoga done this way. I know a number of Christ followers who feel repelled by yoga because it was first practiced as a religious exercise. This was unfortunate because I find yoga such an excellent stress reliever and beautiful core exercise experience. Holy Yoga combines the best of two world and is down with deep love and understanding. The first words I was told was if I feel pain in anyway then I could shavasana (sleep) the whole time and she would wake me up when we finished. I am glad to say I made it through with no wake up calls necessary. In fact the only issues I really had was with my balance. We went into star pose and I could not catch my balance. I grabbed my daughter so many times to not fall down that she burst out laughing causing the lady beside me to chuckle lightly and of course fall a little as well.๐Ÿ˜‰

I guess all I can say is that Holy Yoga is the bomb. It is light exercise and stretching for all ages with no stigma. Nice ladies coming together to learn to fall in love with themselves and their bodies. An instructor who is passionate about sharing her love at a reasonable price in a great and easy to park location. She will be running two more this year at the Jazzercise studios in the 76 centre on Thursday nights at 720pm.

I am already being honored such a gift from being able to do this yoga but Marri has also collected me some gift certificates that helped my family tremendously with food and we were able to get the dogs a few bones to help with training and a couple of subway and Tim Hortons coffee dates because of the generous people who couldn’t come but dropped off donations to help us out at Christmas time. I am just so grateful for the kindness of strangers. So I ask, any of my Christian friends who didn’t want to try out yoga for their fear of false God worship, please come try this out. It is so beautiful listening to Paul’s words on love while stretching in babies pose. It is a beautiful way to meditate on the Bible. For those who don’t care. Come for the people , the music and the passion of Marri to give something wonderful to her beloved community. Thanks for listening and for all of your prayers and support for my family.

As some of you may know that my husband had to go back to work anywhere he could because we literally have used up every savings, credit card, money making ideas we have. My 13 year old daughter had to come home from school to make sure I am not home alone, since my memory issues make me a bit of a danger to myself when it comes to money recollection and cooking but also my med increases means I have to have someone around in case of overdose.

We are working on things but it really is a great blessing to me when friends like Marri take on some of my burden and try to help us financially. My beautiful friend Donna takes me to Chemo appointments and is always giving me things to help keep my spirits up. She is my biggest art fan and the best hugger. My Mom takes me for walks and her husband makes sure I get to the hospital even if it means he has to wait around for an hour long MRI. My neighbor Melissa and her children are often finding things for us to do with them so we don’t get lost or forgotten. When Twitter strangers give us gifts because they have huge hearts it means so much to me and my family. When my scared and struggling depressed daughter had a smile because her boyfriend and his family are offering to pay for her medication because our coverage was dropped by a clerical error it gives me Hope. When a team from across the country collect money for me because they saw my story on her line. I just can’t tell you how warm it makes my heart. People mean so much more than they will probably ever really know or understand. So come to yoga next Thursday and let me hug you. I am so grateful for all of beautiful human beings. Peace be with you. Amen๐Ÿ™

PS: This is my Go fund me page. Any support that is given is much appreciated and goes towards helping my family survive and fight for a cure that is not yet available to me in Canada. My goal is to live and this medicine is the only known treatment that puts woman with Triple Negative Breast Cancer into remission. Thanks again for all of your support and Prayers

PS2:To help my family make money we sell a health product that I support because it helps me have coffee again without being sick. This Healing coffee is akaline and has nutrients in it. I also use some of the detox stuff to help with the Chemo. If you are interested in helping and enjoying a healthy coffee please check out our company website. Thanks so much for your support and God Bless โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š.

What happens when you lose your mind?;!

Over the past four weeks I have been experiencing a special kind of med change. I started out with a crazy pain in my neck that radiated down my left arm and across my skull. It was a pretty severe pain and it ended me up in the hospital for Thanksgiving. I began a new med change protocol and it has been quite an experience. With every med increase I get the pleasure of losing a little bit of my mind. It starts out small with things like mild forgetfulness and then it works it way up to a full on emotional breakdown, with what I could only describe as the closest thing to dementia or Alzheimer’s that can be experienced at my young age of 43.

So far the scans have shown that I have a bulging disc and an exposed nerve. The treatment, along with the med change, was a steroid shot in my spine, however it hasn’t worked yet. I tried the Chiropractor, thanks to my Mother, who helped me pay for it. I tried stretches. I tried everything I could. Each day the pain is getting progressively worse and I am starting to lose my mind just a little bit more.

It started out with forgetfulness and then it went to being short tempered. I was then crying over the littlest thing. My psych nurse had to try and centre me by holding my hands because I couldn’t count to twelve . I was getting too confused. In the meantime I was yelling at my husband.

Ken,my husband, is struggling with this as well. He is not used to handling things . I have always been the leader in the house. I was the control freak that had everything organized and budgeted. Ken worked. After the cancer diagnosis, he had to take on roles he wasn’t great at and didn’t like. He has not been able to figure out healthy coping skills for his worry about my illness, pain and possible death. Also, my daughter having mono and struggles with anxiety is way above his mental health limits. He started to reach his breaking point in the summer. To top things off he hasn’t had the opportunity for steady work for almost a year. It is like every nightmare he could ever imagine all came at him at once and the person who has always supported him has now trouble counting to twelve on her fingers. A meditation she has done a million times before.

To make matters worse, we finally hit rock bottom in the bank account and he had to come to terms with going to work and leaving his sick, mentally challenged wife to the care of his children. He broke down and gratefully sought out help with professionals to gain better coping mechanisms and better ways to understand what is going on with me.

This is the biggest stressor for my whole household. What is actually going on with me? I have been in pain most of my life, so if you see me losing it than the pain is incredible. I hide my pain and more often than not my emotions. I have been working on being emotionally open for years, but I am still not overly great at being emotionally expressive. The meds have made me snappy and what seems like a perpetual state of anger. I am consciously grateful for everything I have but I am in so much unending pain that I have almost zero patients. My youngest daughter understands this, so I get extra hugs and affirmations of understanding and love. My husband and oldest daughter do not understand this as well. They think I am angry with them but I am not. I just can’t be around them because I can’t deal with their anxiety and keep my cool at the same time. It is literally impossible. Also they think I act like a normal person so I must be fine. They don’t see that I am not normal. I cannot do simple tasks that would have been done with my eyes closed and one hand tied behind my back before the treatments. For example , People call me on the phone and I can’t remember what has been said during the conversation. It is not as simple as I have forgotten your name, I have literally forgotten the whole conversation and who I am talking to, sometimes while I am talking to them. People say here is something that can help you out. I can write it down, look at it and not know what it says. People depended on me for years for my quick mind, in particular my husband. I am unable to comprehend or pull up the easiest things anymore. Things I have been doing since I was a kid. It has changed my personality completely and the final straw was the other day when I felt like killing myself. I love my family too much to ever even think of such a thing but sure enough I was so angry, sad, frustrated and in pain that my head went to suicide. I prayed and texted three people that came to my mind. I talked through my feelings and I was ok but to anyone who knows me, they would be able to see that this person who is inside my body is not me. However, most people don’t want to understand this or can’t. They treat me exactly the same as if I am perfectly well and able to do all of the things I have always done. They don’t understand that I couldn’t work if I wanted to this way. They wonder why I can’t be left alone, not realizing that I write down my meds, having alarms alert me when to take them, and I still forget if I have taken them, leading to the possibility of taking double doses. This means I can not be left alone to take my meds. Not only that but with the med changes, one mistake could put me in overdose.

I have been assured that this will all pass when my body and brain adjust but until then what are my options? Then Monday I found out that the cancer is back in my lungs and Chemo will have to recommence on Friday. With the pain I am in now and the added bonus of Chemo and Neuropathy, I am not sure what they are going to be able to do short of a bat to my brain. They are talking about an experimental pain treatment as well as an epidural nerve block but only time will tell. In the meantime, we are probably going to have to take my daughter out of school part time to homeschool, so I have someone at home to help if and when Ken goes back to work. The hardest part is with my mind the way it is right now it is very difficult to find and keep faith. That is why other people are so significant in this world.

Last week my daughter told me to find happiness by writing an imaginary Santa list. I told her that may be too hard for me right now so she said to send a Christmas wish list to Nanny (my mother) by copying and pasting stuff I would like to have, but would probably be too expensive for my Mother to give. The point of this was to kind of put things in God’s hands. To wish for something but have no real attachment to it. She said the wishing would make me smile. She was right. It was fun looking through things and wishing. One of the things I wished for was a tupperwear cheese grater I had seen at a tupperwear party that my best friend and neighbor Melissa had not only invited me too, but paid the food fees for the meals we were making that night. Tonight her daughter showed up at the door with the cheese grater in her hands as a random gift for me. I burst out in happy tears. Not only was it a beautiful and muchly appreciated gift but it was a message from God for me to keep my faith. I am still being cared for no matter how much I feel like Job from the Bible. I needed that so much. It has been hard to have to rely so much on others when I was the one who was the giver. However, I remember once a lady told me to never pass up a gift. She said it stops the flow of prosperity and it stops giving others the gift of love that comes from giving. I am grateful I have the chance for both.

Tonight was a hard blog to write. Not only am I still struggling with a clouded head and a tremendous amount of pain, but it is hard to be vulnerable sometimes. I do these posts because I know that there are others who are experiencing hardships like this or even harder. I may not be able to give much lately but I can still give you my truth and my heart. I hope that this may help people have a bit more compassion or understanding of their sick or misunderstood loved ones. I wish you all peace and good will. Mostly I wish you all love. God Bless โค๏ธ

PS: This is my Go fund me page. Any support that is given is much appreciated and goes towards helping my family survive and fight for a cure that is not yet available to me in Canada. My goal is to live and this medicine is the only known treatment that puts woman with Triple Negative Breast Cancer into remission. Thanks again for all of your support and Prayers

PS2:To help my family make money we sell a health product that I support because it helps me have coffee again without being sick. This Healing coffee is akaline and has nutrients in it. I also use some of the detox stuff to help with the Chemo. If you are interested in helping and enjoying a healthy coffee please check out our company website. Thanks so much for your support and God Bless โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

Experience Life

Today I was asked to go to a vision board making group. I had made vision boards before but I thought why not. I am not sure what I had better to do and life is about experience right? So I went along. I love going along. Life is not lived in fear of new things. I love meeting new people. It makes me recognize that people are all in different stages of their lives and I am glad to have a small part of it in someway most of the time. Sometimes I know why I am in a situation. Usually it is to learn something, but sometimes I believe God puts me into places to have others learn from me. Like the gym for instance.

I go to the gym as often as I can. It usually works out to around three to five times a week but there has been more and less. I don’t do a heavy workout but I do at least 30minutes on the elliptical Trainer and or the stationary bike. Then I do some yoga and or weights for 20 min depending on my energy level.

I do this for me to feel better. You are not sick when you are on an elliptical Trainer right? Or at least that is what I tell myself. I meet people at the gym sometimes and people do the most beautiful things. People look me in the eyes and put their hands together to signal praying for me. Women stop me in the locker room to tell me how I make their workouts better because they figure if I can show up so can they. I have a beautiful man that sits with us most mornings in the massage chairs who told me when I was gone last week it worried him. He looks forward to seeing me everyday because he is inspired by me. I feel blessed to be used by God to help these people. By my experiences other people get their own. What a wonderful world.

Along with experiencing new things I am a big advocate for giving experiences to others. I wrote before about giving the trip of a lifetime to my Grandmother. I get unexpected things out of helping others to have amazing experiences. This week I was able to do two things. The first was a trip to Edmonton space science centre to a Marvel Comics exhibit. My daughter told me about it and we knew we had to take the time to help my husband see his favorite hero’s.

He was like a kid the whole time. He got to pretend he was ironman. He literally stood in line with a bunch of kids to do it. I never knew much about Marvel Comics but I learned a lot of new things. It was really interesting. I almost wanted to go out and buy a comic book.

Next we were offered an opportunity to rescue a deaf puppy. I have to say, if you know us as a family we are suckers for sick, harmed, abused or hard to adoot animals. Our cat Mama was thrown out pregnant and literally almost threw herself and her kittens under my car to be rescued. To this day she does not move very far from the front door because she never wants to live alone again.

My daughter wanted this puppy deep in her soul so we travelled to get it. I am not experienced in training a deaf dog but I would assume there are precious few who are. I was asked what would happen if I died? Who would train the dog then? I really don’t plan on dying but if that came about I have a lot of trust in my youngest daughter who has an animal whisperer gift like my self and who is going to primarily take care of the dog. I have also been asked if I need the extra stress of a puppy? I must say, for me alone, there is nothing more entertaining and now inspiring than a puppy. It keeps you on your toes and your mind fresh. I am not worried. I knew if it was going to be a problem I would have felt it. I didn’t feel any fear at all. This was supposed to be mostly my daughter’s experience but so far I have felt nothing but Joy and education from this Puppy. I now recognized that I rely heavily on my voice with the animals. Frosty (named by my daughter) just looks at me like I am an interesting mouth moving care giver that she likes a whole lot because I carry food around with me.

An unexpected gift that came from this was my larger senior dog ran in the back yard for the first time since we lost our other little senior dogs. We were sure that Buddy was depressed and in pain. Today he acted young again. I am grateful. I am not sure what a new dog in our house means but I see that it is going to be a positive challenge and a blessing for all of us. Maybe it will even teach me to talk less.๐Ÿ˜‰ Nah I like my voice too much. I guess what I want to say today is this. Say yes to knew experiences. It just might be a beautiful gift for you. Say yes to helping others experience new things because other people’s Joy is beautiful. And of course love your animals and take care of them. They may be the biggest blessing you have. โ™ฅ๏ธ God Bless
everyone ๐Ÿ˜Š

PS: This is my Go fund me page. Any support that is given is much appreciated and goes towards helping my family survive and fight for a cure that is not yet available to me in Canada. My goal is to live and this medicine is the only known treatment that puts woman with Triple Negative Breast Cancer into remission. Thanks again for all of your support and Prayers

PS2:To help my family make money we sell a health product that I support because it helps me have coffee again without being sick. This Healing coffee is akaline and has nutrients in it. I also use some of the detox stuff to help with the Chemo. If you are interested in helping and enjoying a healthy coffee please check out our company website. Thanks so much for your support and God Bless โค๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š